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The Occult Living Room The coziest little blog related to magick, mysticism and the occult

Some fun and flirty ways to attract a mate using magick

By Nevergettired on 05/22/2022
 1 Comment

Featured image for the post: Some fun and flirty ways to attract a mate using magick

If they’re not impressed by your sigil. They’re most likely superficial.
*Sigil courtesy of Chaos Tarot

 

– Replace your physical presence with a sigil

Trust me, no one needs to see your physical form. If they aren’t fully aroused by the intentions of this occult symbol, they aren’t worth your time.

– Have a tarot date

Invite them out to a public coffee shop, produce your favorite tarot deck, and read their cards. Stack the deck and make sure The Lover is prominently displayed. Make eye contact and wiggle your eyebrows when discussing this.

With each and every reminder, you are sure to appear increasingly attractive in the eyes of your partner.

– Remind people that you’re a practitioner.

Whatever your practice happens to be, inform people of it. Everyone is absolutely fascinated by the amount of knowledge you possess about chaos magick. It’s definitely your most attractive trait.

– Yes, you totally should tell them about the time you did blood magick.

Remember this phrase: “If they are SCARED, then they are SHEEP.”

– Use fun “Would You Rather” scenarios

“Would you rather fellate Anton Lavey or have to pet-sit for him?” 

– Be Intimidating

Everyone loves an intentionally intimidating person. There’s something comforting about a semi-stranger who is grimacing at you spookily while chewing on chicken wing bones that is deeply arousing.

– BE MORE INTIMIDATING

Be sure to communicate to them that shortly prior to your date you did a spell wherein you burned cat fur, stinging nettle, and rose hips with the intention of being entered by them that evening. If you smell like burned hair, it will help.

Protection hack: Place protective markings in clear view on your place of residence so your prospective partners feel an added sense of security (image courtesy of Cory Seamer)

– Communication is key

It’s important to communicate your intentions in a dating scenario. Make sure they know whether this is a hookup or more of a “I want to own a cottage in the woods with you and we can share a stump altar” situation.

– Rituals make for fun dates!

“Hey babe, after we open this fifth seal, you’re gonna be the sixth one, 😉” 

– Blood

Blood.

– A little anointing goes a long way.

It’s just as fragrant as it is sacred. Douse yourself in a unique blend of Florida water and Abramelin oil constantly. It’s also crucial to be seen doing this – all metaphysical practices are best performed in front of reluctant onlookers. I mean, what’s the point otherwise?


To create a lovely digital sigil such as the one as seen in the cover image, visit: www.chaostarot.com/app/

Filed Under: Practical Stuff Tagged With: #chaosmagic, #howto, #magick, #occult, #occultcomical, #occultdating, #occultfunny, #occulthowto, #occulthumor, #occulthumour, #occultism, #occultocomedy, #occultpoetry, #occultsatire, #occultwriter, #occultwriting, #paganism, #spirits, #spirituality, #theoccultlivingroom, #TOLR, #witch, #witchling

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Comments

  1. Druid City Magick says

    05/22/2022 at

    This is such a great and insightful article. The writer of this article must be amazing and incredible and is not the person leaving this comment.

    Reply

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